Joy

Actually written while working at Glen Arden back in November.

Watching that mylar smiley face balloon rising up into the clouds, hitting air out of its way as it rockets towards the impossible, the smile that, independent of any thoughts I might have about the now bareness of Katie's fifth birthday, flies onto my face does not seem like it should be there. Eight ninety five down the drain. I've got to turn around and go straight back to get another or the party just won't be the same.

And yet, watching that balloon fly past my outstretched fingertips and buildings, snag for a moment on the branches of encapturing oak and then saor off on a breeze of opportunity and exploration, I cannot help but feel it. It's right here, right now.

It's joy.

I feel like laughing, but soon-to-be and already been shoppers are staring and curious about my outstretched arm and fingers. I let those relax a little, take a breath and burst out laughing. Turning around, an elderly couple physically moves themselves backwards, convinced of something sinister, and I head back into the store, still shaking my head and supressing those silly giggles that threaten to overrun my entire being like a shaken soda can that just won't stop frothing.

You say you've got joy, but your muted disposition and the expression on your face beg to differ. You haven't laughed in days, might even be a week, and your glow is somewhat dim of late. C'mon; let's go into the store. You can buy any balloon you'd like...maybe a smiley face, maybe a flower, could even be a Power Ranger. The choice is up to you.

Then we'll go outside and set that sucker free. It might linger for a moment or two, pushed around by some forces it has no control over, but before you know it, that balloon will be flying through the air, surpassing anything that is within our reach and then it's off, and before you know it, your lips are turning upwards, cracking a little from the effort that they haven't been exerting for a while and you might even feel a chuckle rising in your throat.

Don't supress it.

Let it rise up, laugh and feel it.

You've got it now.

It's not so hard when you don't think about it and let that balloon do all the work for you.

You've got it now.

It's joy.